Two years ago, my mom passed away suddenly. My aunt made the long journey down to Ohio to help me with planning her funeral and cleaning up her apartment. One day while we were eating lunch, we began to talk about a concept for a tattoo for my mom.
I was supposed to get the tattoo on my birthday in 2020 but then Covid hit, so we put it on the back burner. Hubby didn’t know if I was going to go through with the tattoo, but I surprised him last October when I told him that I wanted to get it on the 2 year anniversary of her death.
The concept is a dandelion with the spores flying away. It was to be placed on my back on the other side of the tattoo for my sister.
Have you ever looked at a dandelion from underneath looking towards the sun? It’s magical. Absolutely magical.
My tattoo meanings:
- I use music as a therapy, so there is music notes coming off the dandelion. The songs I listened to after her death were Last Song of Your Life and Scars.
- The bottom part of the dandelion is darker. My childhood is full of trauma. That is the darkness in me that I try to hide.
- My mom wasn’t always there for me when I needed her. When I was in Disney, she told me to find something to do and not call as often as I was calling her. I should have told her the truth on how that felt. It was my first time away from home.
- She wasn’t there for either birth of my sons. Even if she wasn’t at the hospital, she could have been at my house. My mother-in-law and MJ were the ones who helped me.
- I hate my birthday because my mom wouldn’t call me to wish me a happy birthday for many of my adult birthdays.
- I always felt insignificant in her eyes because even though I knew she was proud of me – she never told me that she was proud of me.
- There is the word truth hidden in the grass. There is 2 meanings for that word. One is our relationship was built on the lack of truth from both of us. It is also from a lyric in the The Last Song of Your Life. The lyric says “I don’t want the headlines. I just want the truth.”
- The colors are because I am rebuilding myself. I love sunrises/ sunsets, so the colors are perfect.
- The wind is blowing away. I need to realize that my past doesn’t define me. I need to let it go, so I can continue to rebuild myself.
- Finally, the dandelion is a symbol of growth, hope, and healing. Three things I’ve been working on for the past 3 years.