It’s been many months since I’ve written to you. So many things have changed around here.
I wish I could spend some time in Heaven with you. I would tell you what is going on in my life as you would just roll your eyes at me.
I miss you so much. Last week I actually read a book from front cover to back cover. I haven’t been able to do that since you died. Instead I listen to books on tape because I can handle it better once I finish the book. After I finished the book, I so wanted to call you or give it to you so that you could read it. I couldn’t shake the feeling for days afterwards.
So yesterday I did something I never thought I would do in a MILLION years. I got a tattoo of a Monarch butterfly. The tattoo is a memorial/ tribute to you. I don’t know if you ever had a bucket list. I’m the one who loved to explore the world and brought you along on some of my adventures. I want to bring you along as I work on my bucket list.
The significance of my tattoo:
- Butterflies were my theme when I was Worthy Advisor in Rainbow. We were in Rainbow together from 1988 until my majority in 1995.
- They are delicate. You had such a delicate soul.
- I have two tear drops on the one side of the butterfly which stands for 2 years.
- On the other side of the butterfly is four tear drops which stands for 4 months.
- I was 2 years 4 months older than you.
- The date of the tattoo in numbers is also 2/4 – again 2 years 4 months.
- The tear drops have purple in them because purple was your favorite colors.
- The last time I saw a Monarch butterfly was when I was crying. That’s why there are tear drops.
- The butterfly is in flight because every time I see the Monarch butterfly it’s in flight.
- Monarch butterflies migrate to Mexico. You and I always were making up guys with Hispanic names. Mom was supposedly dating those guys.
- I’ve always loved to try to get photos of butterflies. It’s so difficult to get a photo of them. It was always difficult to get a photo of you.
The tattoo didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would have hurt. The tattoo artist used bag balm while I was getting the tattoo. Grandma and Grandpa used to have bag balm when we were younger. It was as though they were with me during the process. I also listened to P!nk who is the bada_ _ that I always wish I could be. I think that helped me zone out during the process.
I love you and miss you! Tell everyone who is in Heaven with you that I love them. Give them a hug from me.
Love your annoying sister,
My song from my term as the Worthy Advisor in May of 1992. The butterfly represents a promise of a new day. One day it won’t hurt as much when I think of you.