Category Archives: Imaginative one

Please Remember to Say I LOVE You

I’ve got to finish my in memory of my mom posts but that will have to wait.

Today, Hubby told me to write for me not necessarily for an audience.

So I am going to talk about some of the feelings I have been feeling during these last few days. Maybe if I get it off my chest I’ll feel better.

Everyone has seen how much closer Mom and I have gotten since Tanya died. However, it was because I showed her mercy during her final years of her life. I showed her what it was like to have a joyful life. Not a perfect life but a life that discovered joy in finding adventures whether it be going to the sunflower field and then a local orchard or driving around random routes. Or just finding her one of my many imaginary boyfriends.

What people don’t realize is that she and I had a strained relationship. I knew that she loved me. She showed her love in quiet unassuming ways. However, I NEVER got to hear her tell me that she loved me.

I know she was proud of me and the boys but she NEVER told me that she was proud of me.

Sometimes we need that reassurance. We need our parents to tell us how proud and how much we love them.

Now that I’m a mother, I make sure I tell my sons how much they mean to me. The Oldest is more receptive to it. We tell each other several times a day “I love you.” One time he got off the phone and realized he hadn’t said it so he called me right back to tell me that he loved me.

The Youngest is going through the I’m a teenager please don’t say that you love me because I might not respond. Which is okay because I will still tell him that.

Now that my mom is gone, I can let my truths out. I’ve kept quiet about some of how I felt over the years out of respect to her. Now it’s time to be like dandelion seed and fly free.

Have a magical day,
Traci

If I Had Stayed IN Bed

I wish I would have stayed in bed.

Some days are like that.

Lately, it seems as though those are more and more days like that.

However, it is usually moments that are fleeting. Not the entire day.

Today was one of those days.

Listening to my son rant and rage about how he is feeling about the whole breakup has broken my heart. He usually has a kind soul who loves life.

I put on P!nk’s Hurts 2B Human album and played the song Hurts 2B Human on repeat and just bawled my eyes out on the way to work. I was a truly hot mess when I got there this morning.

I did listen to a few other songs but I played that song about 5 times.

I encountered some really stupid drivers on the way to school so that didn’t help. One of which pulled over in my lane and slowed way down so that he could get into the other lane so he could get off at the next exit. Luckily there was enough space between us so I could safely slow down.

Four of my co-workers allowed me to rant about the situation because I needed to get it off my chest before the students came in for the day.

Then the day started. I got hugs from students. One in particular gave me a hug several times throughout the day.

I escorted a student to class because he couldn’t figure out how to be sneaky so he wasn’t caught by me, the hallway patrol.

I had some good intervention sessions. In fact, I had some awesome ones. Then there were the ones where I am left in bewilderment on how disrespectful the students can be to each other and me. The one group sees me twice on Wednesdays so they made up for their not so good session. I don’t know why they were so bad during math intervention.

Listening to students get excited about what we were reading made my day. I had students asking questions and wanting to know more and other students using context clues. Those make an Intervention Specialist’s heart soar.

A student decided she needed to hang onto me as I was trying to lock my door. She has no concept of personal space.

During dismissal time, one of my students from last year showed up at the building. I got to talk to her and her mom for a while. It was such a sweet conversation. I love how she asked me if I had traveled anywhere lately.

I also found Swt. Blessings scripture plan for this month. It’s about finding comfort in God. I read today’s Scripture from 2 Corinthians 4: 7 – 9. It gave me comfort during this time.

So although at the beginning of the day and at moments throughout the day I felt as though I wish I had stayed in bed, I would not have had the beautiful parts of the day.

The sunrise today – So gorgeous!
One of my former students posted this today on Facebook. It popped up in my notifications. What a great message.

Have a magical day,
Traci

Our Adventure | September 29

The past week has been trying for us. The Oldest had his first heartbreak and break up. I’ve had to be a “friend,” mom, and sounding block.

As I said, it’s been trying. For 2 weeks prior to the break up, we have gone through mopey Oldest, angry Oldest, and then happy Oldest. It was hard to watch this roller coaster.

Last Sunday, she broke up with him via text and then immediately blocked him. He has to see her because they are in 2 classes and ride the bus together. Needless to say, he’s gone through a multitude of emotions. He is now happy and sees the break up is a good thing.

During those last 2 weeks, he would complain about being bored but refused to do anything. It was very sad to watch.

This weekend, I suggested we do something on Sunday afternoon. I was thinking of the Huffman Dam but he and his brother decided to go to the Englewood Dam. We also visited a favorite local restaurant for dinner. It was nice to have him back.

Not only was he was back so was the Youngest. My soul needed that because we used to go on a lot of adventures when they were younger.

Off topic: I’ve recently discovered Lizzo. She has great lyric in this song. “Don’t text me. Tell it me it to my face.” That’s how the Oldest is feeling right now. He is big on communication. That was the problem with the relationship.

Onto to the photos from our adventure:

After spending time in nature, we went to a favorite restaurant for our dinner. Airline Dairy Creme is located close to the Dayton International Airport.

I’m so happy that I got to spend some quality time with my teenagers. They are growing up so quickly.

Have a magical day,
Traci

I hate to see my son hurt

My son is hurt right now. I’m trying to help him the best I can but there is only so much I can do.

I’ve mentioned about him having a girlfriend. Well, that girlfriend has taken to ghosting him, a.k.a. ignoring him. She told him that she doesn’t want to break up with him. However, her actions are saying otherwise.

I know I shouldn’t be in their business but when I see him moping around my house. He is not acting like himself at all. He’s made so much progress socially. I don’t want to lose his progress. About 6 years ago, we attempted to have him diagnosed as having Asperger’s disorder. He met every indicator except the social indicator. Since I made sure to put him in social situations, he was too social to be diagnosed as having Asperger’s.

He has really came out of his shell in the last two years. Now he’s just hanging out in room either laying on his bed or playing on his computer. On Saturday, he didn’t want to hang out with his buddies at the restaurant we went to which is unusual for him.

As I said, she’s ghosting or ditching him for her friends. She is not communicating with him. When he tries to tell her how he feels, she has a panic attack or that is what she tells him.

She told her mom that she doesn’t want to break up with him but has not said that to him. Instead she just ignores him. As a mom, it hurts. I know what I would do in the situation if a guy did that to me. However, I need to attempt to stay out of it.

Her mom and I have talked about the situation because his girlfriend was crying and saying “I’ve messed up with N___. I’m afraid he is going to break up with me.”

I just hate to see him hurting. He used to light up when he spoke about her. Now he sounds tired and defeated.

All this has gone down in the last 2 weeks. He asked her to Homecoming and then this happened. She says she wants to go with him.

I just hate to see him hurting.

Have a magical day,
Traci

Sunflowers | September 9, 2019

Every year or almost every year since 2010, we have a tradition of going to see the sunflowers in a town near us.

They have a field that blooms for about 2 weeks. It is absolutely gorgeous so many people stop to take photos and even draw pictures of the sunflowers.

It’s gotten so popular that they have a parking area which they never had before a few years ago. I used to have to sort of parallel park in the grass near the field.

As I said, we go every year or almost every year. I have found photos from 2010, 2011, and then 2014-2019. I don’t remember if we went in 2012 or 2013.

This year, we took the Oldest’s girlfriend. She had never been to the field before so it was fun to watch her discover the absolute beauty of the field.

While walking through the rows of sunflowers, you have to be careful of the bees because they love to hang out there and the prickly plants that grow near the sunflowers. Other than that, it’s fun to get lost in the hundreds of sunflowers.

We also have a tradition of going to the local dairy that is just down the road after visiting the sunflowers. So we did that also on Monday. Oldest’s girlfriend hadn’t been to Young’s Dairy for a while so it was fun to treat her to ice cream made with milk from cows from the dairy and to watch her feed the goats.

Visiting the sunflowers is one memory that the boys are going to carry with them for the rest of their lives. Even though Youngest would have rather stayed at home and played on the computer.

Enjoy the video.

Have a magical day,
Traci

Make memories that will stay with you

I have 2 teenagers in my house. One who turns to his mom for advice and will continue to let me know that he loves me. The other has decided doing anything with mom is pure torture. He may or may not say that he loves you when you tell him that you love him. It’s frustrating.

I love how the Oldest has started to embrace being a teenager. He doesn’t hang out with many of his friends outside of school. However, I know he has a group of friends that he calls his Guys.

He also has a girlfriend which is new territory for him. They’ve been dating since April.

So what would my advice be to my 2 teenagers? Since they are both so different, I have different pieces of advice.

Oldest – Continue to hang out with your Guys. Make memories with them. Girls come and go but a great friend will stay with you.

Young love is new and exciting. Don’t change yourself for her. Treat her with respect. Remember your family and how we raised you. Let her know you care about her. Think with your mind not your hormones.

Communication is key. Always remember to communicate.

Youngest – Family is important. When we want to spend time with you, we want to create memories. We love you. Don’t forget that. Please take time to say I love you and not the word yes when we speak to you.

Yes, we want you to do chores. Please do them correctly the first time or we will harp on you until you do it right.

Grades are important. Please begin to turn in your assignments. Don’t be a class clown.

Have a magical day,
Traci

8th and 10th

How can it be? My boys are in 8th and 10th grade now. They both allowed me to take their photos in the morning. In the afternoon, it was touch and go with the Youngest.

Before I left the house, I got a few photos of the Youngest. I was lucky he was willing to go outside with me. This was taken at almost 7 am.

After yelling at the Oldest to get moving because car drop off was going to be busy because it was the first day of school, I was able to get a photo of him in front of our tree. I took a few other photos in the car during drop off.

A tradition is to take photos on the first day or close to the first day of school in front of our tree in our yard. I do a photo session. Some years, the photos are great. Other years, well they are quite interesting. This year was a combination.

For some reason, Youngest decided we needed to include Dobby, our 15-year-old dog, in the photos. As you can see, Dobby was not impressed.

Next one to get his photos was Oldest.

Then I asked the boys to take photos together. They decided to be silly about the whole experience.

Next the red nose and Davy Crockett hat came out and the silly photos were taken.

Finally I asked the Youngest to take photos without Dobby. This is what I got.

I guess the photo session was done at that point. There wasn’t going to be anymore cooperating with me.

Have a magical day,
Traci

Sometimes Life Needs to Slow Down

Today I chose the writing prompt – Write about something that surprised you.

I’m not going to write about my car being broken into the other day. Yes, that did surprise me. And yes, it did surprise me that we had cleaned it out so there was nothing in the car except for coffee mugs, trash, flossers, my lunch bag, a stinky gym bag, and a towel. And no, it did not surprise me that Hubby did not lock my car even after I asked him to do that. (Don’t ask why it didn’t surprise me.)

Continue reading Sometimes Life Needs to Slow Down

Zoo Atlanta | August 2013 – Super Trip Day #10

As I was organizing my posts from this site, I realized I never finished writing about our Super Trip in 2013. The Super Trip took place almost 6 years ago when the boys were 8 and 10. Now they are almost 14 and 16. Oops!

When I left off, I got as far as Georgia Aquarium but not Zoo Atlanta and Huntsville, Alabama.

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