I know some of the food looks similar. It’s because I ate that meal or components of the meal several times during the week.
Highlights:
Pork carnita salad – So good.
Inside of egg sandwich from a local coffee shop – I’ve messed this sandwich. It was the first time in 2 years I’ve had it.
Pina Colada overnight oats – YUM!
Healthy fish and chips – So good. I need to work on the coleslaw though. It didn’t stay as fresh as I thought it would when I tried to eat the remainder a few days later.
The Brussel sprouts salad – I’m making it for this week.
I’ve come to realization I suffer from disordered eating. This is different from an eating disorder but can also become dangerous.
Before I begin talking about what disordered eating is, I will give you a backstory of why the disordered eating started.
2017/2018 – My gallbladder started to fail. During this time period, I started to eat gluten-free and vegetarian. Sometimes this was at the same time while other times, it was one or the other. After getting my gallbladder out, I gradually started to eat a Standard American Diet once again.
Fast forward to 2021 . . . I end up in the ER for stomach pains. It was discovered I have a sensitivity to gluten. Once again, I began to eat gluten-free. In April, it’ll be 2 years of eating a strictly gluten-free diet. I also tried to eat vegetarian at the same time but discovered it was not attainable.
A problem with eating gluten-free is the lack of options when you go out to eat. Some restaurants have great gluten-free options while others seriously lack it. When my mom lived near me, I got used eating at restaurants rather then cooking more at home. It was something we did together.
Now you know some of the backstory of the reason I have disordered eating, I will tell you the definition of disordered.
Disordered eating is behaviors that are not classified as an eating disorder but they still negatively affect their health, mental, or emotional health.
Ways my eating is disordered is eating way too small meals, skipping meals, and eating unhealthy meals. I’ve wondered if I had an eating disorder. Then I heard the word disordered eating. Bells went off in my head. That’s what I’ve experienced. Some of the reasons for the disordered eating is because of having to eat a gluten-free diet, being busy or stressed to eat, and grief. Grief from losing my mom and the pre-pandemic life.
So where do I do now that I’ve been made aware of what to call my eating? I need to remain mindful I need to eat even if I don’t feel like it. I need to make sure I’m eating as healthy as possible but allow myself grace when I fall short. I need to make sure I have some sort of snack to fall back on when I’m out, so I don’t have to rely on eating at restaurants.
I’ve joined the Biggest Loser challenge at work. Celebrate Recovery has changed my life because I’m using it as a kickstart to make sure I’m eating healthy. It’s like I took a blue chip.
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