Our Adventure | September 29

The past week has been trying for us. The Oldest had his first heartbreak and break up. I’ve had to be a “friend,” mom, and sounding block.

As I said, it’s been trying. For 2 weeks prior to the break up, we have gone through mopey Oldest, angry Oldest, and then happy Oldest. It was hard to watch this roller coaster.

Last Sunday, she broke up with him via text and then immediately blocked him. He has to see her because they are in 2 classes and ride the bus together. Needless to say, he’s gone through a multitude of emotions. He is now happy and sees the break up is a good thing.

During those last 2 weeks, he would complain about being bored but refused to do anything. It was very sad to watch.

This weekend, I suggested we do something on Sunday afternoon. I was thinking of the Huffman Dam but he and his brother decided to go to the Englewood Dam. We also visited a favorite local restaurant for dinner. It was nice to have him back.

Not only was he was back so was the Youngest. My soul needed that because we used to go on a lot of adventures when they were younger.

Off topic: I’ve recently discovered Lizzo. She has great lyric in this song. “Don’t text me. Tell it me it to my face.” That’s how the Oldest is feeling right now. He is big on communication. That was the problem with the relationship.

Onto to the photos from our adventure:

After spending time in nature, we went to a favorite restaurant for our dinner. Airline Dairy Creme is located close to the Dayton International Airport.

I’m so happy that I got to spend some quality time with my teenagers. They are growing up so quickly.

Have a magical day,
Traci

My Sacred Musical Artist / Happy

During the summer, I was introduced to a podcast called Harry Potter and the Sacred Text. They take the Harry Potter books and chapter by chapter they discuss it through different themes like empathy and white privilege. The podcast really makes you think.

They also discuss the fact there is often a sacred text, songs, or even musical artists in our lives that we often rely on to get us through difficult times.

Throughout the years, my sacred song has changed depending on the season I am in my life. However, for the last 10 or so years, one artist keeps popping us as having songs that I have believe to be sacred to me. Mind you, I’ve loved her music since the early 2000’s when I first heard Just like a Pill. So who is this artist. She is P!nk, the badass I wish I was myself.

Okay, Get the Party started was a sacred song for me while I was pregnant with Oldest. That child was planning to stay in my uterus forever. I wanted my body to get the party started. It never worked. I was induced 4 days after his due date.

Then there was Perfect. I went through a period of time where I had students who were not the best. It was a really rough period. Lots of anxiety and depression during that time during that time in my life. I had lost family members, a former student of mine, and a high school friend. I tried to keep it together. As a self-help for myself, I discovered photography.

Hurts 2B Human

This past April, she came out with the newest album Hurts 2B Human. I can relate to so many of the songs. Whether in this time in my life or in my past. I want to discuss some of the songs and how it relates to my life.

Now mind you, it won’t be all in one post. I wouldn’t do that to you.

The first song I would like to discuss is Happy. This song was written about how I felt about myself in my teens until mid thirties.

The lyrics I can really relate to are
” Since I was 17
I’ve always hated my body
And it feels like my body’s hated me
Can somebody find me a pill to make me un-afraid of me? “

I’ve had a love/hate relationship with my body. I’m short waisted with long legs. Can you believe how awkward that combination is especially for a teen?

I always thought I was not attractive. Maybe it’s because of my awkwardness. It was not until I lost my grandma and I began to be in more photos that I realized that I was not as unattractive as I realized. Hubby would tell me that I was beautiful but it was not always enough for me to believe. What an awful way to live my life.

Another lyric I can relate to is
” Since I was 22
I’ve been with somebody who loves me
And I’ve been trying to believe it’s true.”

I have actually been with Hubby since I was 22. On October 17th, we’ve been together for 22 years which is going to be half of my life. For details of the time we got together, click on this link. That year was a hard year for me mentally, emotionally, and even physically.

How did I end up with someone who truly loved me? I don’t know. I was in a series of messed up relationships up until that moment. I could write a book on those relationships.

Am I scared to be happy? I don’t think so. I like being happy but there were times in my time that it was hard to be happy.

” (Don’t like to talk about my feelings) “

This is true. I don’t always like to talk about my feelings. I’m scared people will judge me.

I hope you’ll be kind and understand how this post made me vulnerable.

Have a magical day,
Traci

I hate to see my son hurt

My son is hurt right now. I’m trying to help him the best I can but there is only so much I can do.

I’ve mentioned about him having a girlfriend. Well, that girlfriend has taken to ghosting him, a.k.a. ignoring him. She told him that she doesn’t want to break up with him. However, her actions are saying otherwise.

I know I shouldn’t be in their business but when I see him moping around my house. He is not acting like himself at all. He’s made so much progress socially. I don’t want to lose his progress. About 6 years ago, we attempted to have him diagnosed as having Asperger’s disorder. He met every indicator except the social indicator. Since I made sure to put him in social situations, he was too social to be diagnosed as having Asperger’s.

He has really came out of his shell in the last two years. Now he’s just hanging out in room either laying on his bed or playing on his computer. On Saturday, he didn’t want to hang out with his buddies at the restaurant we went to which is unusual for him.

As I said, she’s ghosting or ditching him for her friends. She is not communicating with him. When he tries to tell her how he feels, she has a panic attack or that is what she tells him.

She told her mom that she doesn’t want to break up with him but has not said that to him. Instead she just ignores him. As a mom, it hurts. I know what I would do in the situation if a guy did that to me. However, I need to attempt to stay out of it.

Her mom and I have talked about the situation because his girlfriend was crying and saying “I’ve messed up with N___. I’m afraid he is going to break up with me.”

I just hate to see him hurting. He used to light up when he spoke about her. Now he sounds tired and defeated.

All this has gone down in the last 2 weeks. He asked her to Homecoming and then this happened. She says she wants to go with him.

I just hate to see him hurting.

Have a magical day,
Traci

Sunflowers | September 9, 2019

Every year or almost every year since 2010, we have a tradition of going to see the sunflowers in a town near us.

They have a field that blooms for about 2 weeks. It is absolutely gorgeous so many people stop to take photos and even draw pictures of the sunflowers.

It’s gotten so popular that they have a parking area which they never had before a few years ago. I used to have to sort of parallel park in the grass near the field.

As I said, we go every year or almost every year. I have found photos from 2010, 2011, and then 2014-2019. I don’t remember if we went in 2012 or 2013.

This year, we took the Oldest’s girlfriend. She had never been to the field before so it was fun to watch her discover the absolute beauty of the field.

While walking through the rows of sunflowers, you have to be careful of the bees because they love to hang out there and the prickly plants that grow near the sunflowers. Other than that, it’s fun to get lost in the hundreds of sunflowers.

We also have a tradition of going to the local dairy that is just down the road after visiting the sunflowers. So we did that also on Monday. Oldest’s girlfriend hadn’t been to Young’s Dairy for a while so it was fun to treat her to ice cream made with milk from cows from the dairy and to watch her feed the goats.

Visiting the sunflowers is one memory that the boys are going to carry with them for the rest of their lives. Even though Youngest would have rather stayed at home and played on the computer.

Enjoy the video.

Have a magical day,
Traci

Make memories that will stay with you

I have 2 teenagers in my house. One who turns to his mom for advice and will continue to let me know that he loves me. The other has decided doing anything with mom is pure torture. He may or may not say that he loves you when you tell him that you love him. It’s frustrating.

I love how the Oldest has started to embrace being a teenager. He doesn’t hang out with many of his friends outside of school. However, I know he has a group of friends that he calls his Guys.

He also has a girlfriend which is new territory for him. They’ve been dating since April.

So what would my advice be to my 2 teenagers? Since they are both so different, I have different pieces of advice.

Oldest – Continue to hang out with your Guys. Make memories with them. Girls come and go but a great friend will stay with you.

Young love is new and exciting. Don’t change yourself for her. Treat her with respect. Remember your family and how we raised you. Let her know you care about her. Think with your mind not your hormones.

Communication is key. Always remember to communicate.

Youngest – Family is important. When we want to spend time with you, we want to create memories. We love you. Don’t forget that. Please take time to say I love you and not the word yes when we speak to you.

Yes, we want you to do chores. Please do them correctly the first time or we will harp on you until you do it right.

Grades are important. Please begin to turn in your assignments. Don’t be a class clown.

Have a magical day,
Traci